As I watched a fascinating documentary about longevity, I couldn't help but begin reflecting on my own life. I often find myself longing for a simple rural life and close-knit communities.
As I watched a fascinating documentary about longevity, I couldn't help but begin reflecting on my own life. I often find myself longing for a simple rural life and close-knit communities.
Question of the day. Will I live to be a hundred? Actually, that's not really the question of the day, but it's kind of the topic of the day. The real question is, if I live to be a hundred, will I look back on my life and be content with the journey that I was on, or will I have regrets that I didn't take a different path? And so that's really the reflection in today's episode, and I hope that it stimulates some of that reflection for you as well.
Amjed:Hi, this is Amjad, a simple, beautifully broken man living in a complex world. Join me as I navigate the dark and bright spots of life, sharing vulnerably and reflecting deeply along the way. May you find some benefit here. That is through me, not from me. I must warn you to enter at your own risk, for in this room my humanity is showing. Welcome, my fellow humans, to episode 51 of my humanity is showing, and this is actually my third take.
Amjed:So I recorded about 45 seconds, had no idea what was going on, and I recorded another four minutes and felt like I was just blabbing. I didn't even or blathering, I guess, is the word. So I'm trying again. I took a few moments to reflect and just take some deep breaths. Maybe I felt like, maybe I was trying too hard, or I'm not sure what it was, but anyway, stopping that and we'll start afresh. So in today's episode I had a few topics in mind that have just recently come up, but I thought I'd start with the first one, and that is I guess it's related to life in general. Sorry, I just remembered the words to a old Depeche Mode song that I used to really like. It's like life in general in the world we live in. But, yeah, somebody, somebody the name of the song is somebody. If you ever get a chance, it's a really neat song, anyway, but you know, just life in general, and so the topic. So where was I going with that?
Amjed:Over the holidays I was spending some time with family and we actually watched a documentary on longevity and longevity here, meaning what makes some people live longer than others, and you know, is it what they're eating? Is it their lifestyle? Is it a combination of all these different things? Like what? What is that that allows certain people go to yawn? Oops, sorry about that. It's been a pretty hectic week and since I don't edit, I can't take that out unless I delete and start over. So anyway, yeah, what makes some people live longer than others?
Amjed:And you know, I've been telling everybody it's like I made this big mistake over the holidays and they're like what happened? I was like I watched this documentary on longevity and they highlighted some places on earth like Okinawa, japan, ikariya, greece, sardinia, italy this is just me going off a memory Costa Rica and Loma Linda, california, and if you're familiar with the concept of the blue zones, this is what this is, and David his name is David Butner who wrote that was the host of this documentary and is highlighting, kind of since that came out and now. So both touching on the previous content but then also introducing some new stuff. So I thought that was really interesting. I thought I hadn't watched it before that because I kept thinking well, you know I've already familiar with the concept, I've spent a lot of time looking into it. I thought it was really interesting, but the documentary was so well done, so well done that I really enjoyed it.
Amjed:And but the reason I say it was a mistake, because now I can't get this fantasy out of my head of moving to either Greece or Italy, and I mean just the lifestyle. And you know they talked about how people were healthier and they lived longer and they had fewer incidences of disease like cardiovascular disease and dementia. And you know, they're just very active people. They live in these rugged places where you have to walk uphill and downhill, and there's people in their hundreds doing this, you know, hundred plus, going up and down these hills and just growing gardens and doing a lot of physical activity and eating healthy, organic foods, a lot of which they've grown themselves. And I just think, wow, you know, and I know they say the grass is greener on the other side of the fence. But I really started to wonder. It's made me question my life and my choices and where I am and what I'm focused on and what's important to me. And all of that, and in addition to that, I just learned that I'm starting to show early signs of cardiovascular disease.
Amjed:I found out in a test recently, and so my doctor wants me to put me on a statin, which is a medication that reduces cholesterol in the blood, but it's very hard or impossible to come off of it once you start it, and I've never been a fan of medication and I have no desire to start one. And it took me years to get off the antidepressants and wean off of them and, through a lot of therapy and meditation and just a lot of work, to finally get to a point where I have been free of the antidepressants and now to start on another medication which, to me, is just inserting yet another artificial substance into the body on a regular basis. Yeah, not too excited about that idea. And so I tell my family. I was like, oh, we should just move to Greece or Italy, just go live there.
Amjed:And he told the story in the documentary about this one guy who was 60-something, diagnosed with colon cancer and decided to go back home, where he was originally from, which is one of these blue zones, so that he could at least pass away in his home country. And then he got there and ended up living to like 102 plus maybe. And it's like a mystery, like what happened? He went from being in a not blue zone to being in a blue zone and suddenly, whatever, the six months that he had been given to live by a couple of doctors or a few doctors was just reversed somehow. And it wasn't even like a conscious thing on his part. He just went there and was like, okay, I'm gonna buy it out my time until it's over and ended up living a really long time. Now, the one thing he did not touch on in any of that which makes me wonder that personally I just wonder about is the genetic aspect. Like, is there something about people from these regions that genetically supports them living longer, and is that also a factor In addition to lifestyle and diet and activity and community, which are some of the things that he mentioned? You're just having that purpose, the community, the healthy eating and healthy living.
Amjed:But and I feel like a lot of those things are missing for me not entirely, but just not in a strong way and it's just that idea of living a really simple life is so tantalizing, it's so fascinating to think, hmm, what would happen, you know, and we were talking about this, my wife and I were talking about what would happen if we just maybe in another 10, 15 years, we retire, sell a lot of our stuff or give it away and pack a couple of suitcases and just move to a place like that and go try it for a year or two, see what happens, just go there and just see if we're able to acclimate, if it's appealing, interesting to us, like what's going on, and you know, just go check it out and see what happens. And you know, because when I look at my life now and I guess this is a product of living in an urban environment in the US where everything is go, go, go, go, go, go go it just feels like there's no. They're scarcity of time and energy, it's just they're very scarce. And it brings back the idea of from the book the four hour work week which we went through a couple of years ago and I had the same problem. After I went through that, we ended up listening to the audiobook and afterwards I just kept thinking like gosh, this idea of living in kind of spurts and having spreading the retirement out over the healthy years, instead of waiting until you're too old to really enjoy it and maybe work for a couple of years, save up enough to live for a few more years and then go to a place where the cost of living is less and the stress is less and just stay there as long as you can and then go back, earn some more and then go back into it. I'm summarizing the book probably really poorly, but that's what I got out of it. I got out of it this idea that, hmm, is it really like kind of working really hard to get to an end state? Is that really it? Or is it the journey Like enriching the journey and saying, okay, maybe if I had fewer responsibilities, fewer obligations, financial obligations, things like that it would allow me to live lower than my current means and not have to stress as much or work as much.
Amjed:Now, add into that a couple of factors. One is that I am definitely by nature a workaholic and that I give my heart and soul to anything that I do and, in particular, my job, and the fact that I absolutely positively love my job Like absolutely love it. I'm very grateful for it, I feel like it. I'm doing good work that's benefiting a lot of people and so there's definitely benefit in that. So I'm not bemoaning my work. I'm not saying that, oh, I wish I didn't have a job or I wish I didn't have the job that I have. It's just more of like the big picture piece of it Of okay, what's next and how much longer do I go for this? And I believe I've shared this here before.
Amjed:But I said, if you're new or if you don't remember the whole, actually one of my original ideas for this podcast that started was based on my retirement plan and I was gonna share about that in a podcast and that's how this whole thing started. I just couldn't think of a name to go with that. And I still have that plan. I mean, I'm still thinking that that might be a good plan because, you know, ever since I can remember, I wanted to study psychology and I've always been really, really interested in psychotherapy and but, for whatever reason, I did not pursue that when I was getting my education and went in a completely different route. But I have never been able to shake that dream of one day being a psychologist. I've never been able to let go of that.
Amjed:And here I am, 30 years I think, where I saw something about a 35 year high school reunion or something. Yeah, cause I graduated in 91. So what is that? A 30 year? I don't know. I can't do, I'm horrible at simple arithmetic but yeah, that would be like 30 years, right, 32 years or something. Here, hold on, let me just. I'm gonna cheat and those of you who wanna judge me, go ahead, judge me, cause I don't know what I'm talking about.
Amjed:Yeah, 32 years, I did it, right, okay, arithmetic makes me nervous. That's not my strong suit. Like simple math in my head, like addition, subtraction, multiplication, I don't know, I just my brain doesn't function like that. So, like I said, if you're one of those people who's really good at math and you're judging me right now, knock yourself out, okay. I don't know why. I just did that. That's so that feels. So what is it Adversarial? It's like I'm assuming negative intent from people and I'm like fighting back at it because I have some kind of shame around the fact that I struggle or I don't trust myself to do math in my head. That's interesting. That might be a thread to pull on in a future episode, like what in the world is going on there? Like why am I so defensive of that?
Amjed:But anyway, getting back to the subject in hand, you know I'm 30 years out from high school and I still have not been able to let go of that dream of becoming a psychologist, and so you know my plan is to actually go back to school and do something that will lead me to psychotherapy, and so the podcast idea originally was to follow that. You know, basically follow that in a podcast and say, okay, here are my choices. I could either do licensed clinical social work. I could pursue a master's in psychology or a PhD or a PsyD in psychology, a doctorate I could do, licensed professional counselor, or you know, there may be other avenues and ways. I have a friend of mine who's trying to convince me to do life coaching, which is a little bit different, but you know, it might be another way to sort of scratch that itch, for lack of a better cliche.
Amjed:And what I had thought to do in the podcast was to basically share that journey of here are the options, here's I've been studying the different options, here's what I'm learning and I've decided to pursue this option. And therefore let me share my latest adventure with that and where I'm at and then maybe, once I get into a program of some sort, share some of the different things that I'm learning in classes or in practical experiences and just take people on that journey with me as I go through. And that was the original idea for this podcast and it still may be. I mean, I still may share some of that, like, for example, right now I have a mentor of mine who suggested that I just sign up for one class and try it and see if I still have the energy, the brain power, the appetite, whatever you wanna call it to study again, because going back to school is not hard or not easy, especially at the age of 51. So take one class, try it and see. Is that something I wanna continue doing, and just see where that leads, and so that's. I've been researching a little bit about that and looking at that, but with that I thought, well, if I did do something like that, that might be an interesting career to follow, you know to, basically, if we lived in some rural environment on an island, somewhere off the coast of Greece or Italy or Turkey, to just have a small online practice and help people out. I don't know, it's still a thought. We'll see where that all leads.
Amjed:But you know, what am I? What it and I'm sure this is a question a lot of people ask it's like, wait a minute, you know, it's the hamster wheel effect. It's the hamster wheel effect, I think, in that I feel like sometimes I feel like I'm on a hamster wheel. I'm the hamster and I'm running and running and running and running oh boy, that sounds like a black eyed pea song and I'm running and running and running and everybody, everybody, and I'm not going anywhere. Or am I going anywhere and where am I going?
Amjed:And so just taking time to stop and ask the question, like is this really the direction that I aspire to go in? Is this the direction that I aspire to go in? Thank you, should be headed in. I don't know, should is the right word. But you know, I'm not sure what my, my higher power wants of me. Like, what is God, you know God's direction for me? Maybe it's like okay, wait a minute. You did this for a while. This is good. How about this now go in this direction? And I don't know what that looks like. And I don't know what that looks like for me or for my family. And you know, I just look around my life and I definitely have hoarding tendency. That's a potential future episode.
Amjed:I have that on the list somewhere, and so there's a lot of stuff. I surround myself with stuff. As a matter of fact, every time I think of something, it's like ooh, I wonder if there's something for that. I forgot what I was thinking about today or something, and I thought, oh, I wonder. Oh, I know what it was. It was what is the best outfit to wear when working out? Like more stuff, right. Like what's more stuff, and you know that was the other thing.
Amjed:So there's been like two or three things that have just really impacted me in the last couple of years, pretty much post pandemic in a lot of ways, and I don't know if that's a coincidence or if it's related, but the four hour work week was one. The other is the minimalists and this whole minimalism movement. I don't know that I will ever be so hardcore minimalists that I can live out of a suitcase. Maybe I don't know, but as of right now I have trouble seeing that because there's just certain things I really like to have around, but that idea that you know I can be, you know, like be in this environment and maybe not have as much stuff, not work so hard and just simplify my life in some way. Because I was looking at, for example, I was looking at the people living on the an Okinawa. You know, I think three of the areas, three of the blue zones, of the five blue zones mentioned in the documentary, were all islands, small islands, so I thought that was interesting. So if you're living on an island, on a small island, higher chance of living to be 100.
Amjed:But in Okinawa, just that simple lifestyle, I mean just this community of friends and family and growing fruits and vegetables and then harvesting them and, you know, spending time together and just this really simple, simple life. And I often feel and maybe this is just too much, and I often feel and maybe this is just maybe, I don't know something's wrong with me or what do they say Like I have an old soul. I often feel like maybe I was born in the wrong generation and the wrong millennium, that you know, I just dream about that kind of a life all the time, all the ever since I was a kid. Really, I mean just this idea of just having a very simple community lifestyle where families are together, communities are together and everybody's supporting each other and it's very tight knit and there's lots of positive energy and activity and healthy living and, like I said, healthy eating, and that I just long for that. I long for that.
Amjed:There was this one period where I was trying to I guess I'll end with this kind of idea, but I was trying to convince my wife that maybe we should move into a co-op which, if you're not familiar with that concept, is basically where it's a community, it's a purposeful, shared community where there's some common shared resources, maybe some common shared space. So the one idea that I've just been stuck in my head for a few years now is this idea that you could have a planned community where there's maybe 10 houses all together and there's one common house and in the common house there's an industrial kitchen and a common area and, you know, maybe some activities and things. There's shared things like lawn mowers and lawn things or shared tools that are all in this common house and then in the individual houses. There's no need for all of that because you can just borrow it out of the common house. So, you know, if you needed some of those things, you could just go get them from the garage in the common house and and so for.
Amjed:You know, in the evenings people might head to the common area. Those who are not maybe more members of the family, who are more introverted and need their quiet time, could stay in their own house, and those like me who are more extroverted and need some community time, could head into the common area and help prepare a common dinner for folks, or sign up to prepare dinner one day and say, all right, I'm making dinner on such and such day If anybody wants to come join me. We can make it together. Here's what's gonna be on the menu and we go meet there, and then there's some people playing ping pong on the side or table tennis. There's some people, you know, maybe watching something on TV, but it's like this common place.
Amjed:Now I would add because I didn't know it existed at the time I wasn't familiar with the concept, but I would add probably a pickleball court somewhere in that whole mix where people can go and play pickleball if they wanted, or other activities, maybe even indoor pickleball court, so you don't have to worry about the weather it could be raining and it could be inside playing pickleball, but that, you know. Just that kind of community that really appeals to me. It's just so exciting the idea of being in that kind of a healthy environment. And I don't know, like I said, I understand that that's not as exciting to everybody, because I have family members who are introverts and they like their quiet time and they wanna be alone and this whole idea of a shared something is just like huh, why would you do that? Like that makes no sense and for me it makes complete sense and that's why I like this co-op idea where there's individual space and shared space, so that, like I said, for those community members who wanna go and participate in the common areas they could, and those who don't have to.
Amjed:And anyway, I guess this episode is turning into a. Let me tell you about my dreams. Tell you about the dreams that I have and the fact that I can't subtract 2023 from 1991 in my head but without triple guessing myself. Hi, anyway, I'll stop there. I think that's enough for one discussion, and I don't know what. I didn't really go anywhere with that. I it's just sharing my reflections on that. I don't know if that in any way stimulates any thought for anyone else.
Amjed:So, if you're listening to this and you're like, hmm, I haven't really paused and thought about my own life lately Like what is it? Where do I see myself in 30 years if I'm still around? Like I'm 51 now and that's the question I'm asking. It's like 30 years from now, if I'm still around, where do I see myself? What does that look like? And what am I doing to get to that, or to at least work in that direction, or head in that direction, or cause another yawn, or and the funny thing is, I'm drinking decaf tea. I'm a decaf coffee right now, which is not gonna do me any good, cause I don't do caffeine, but and I'm still yawning.
Amjed:But you know, like what am I doing to get to that 30 year goal from now? And is there an opportunity to stop and pause and just say, okay, hold on. Maybe I need to take a day off and just sit and reflect and journal research, look at some different things, talk to some people to get some clarity about what the next steps are. So, anyway, yeah, I just share that one. I share it because this is like my public diary. But two, if it does stimulate any thought for you, it's maybe a good opportunity to, even if you're only in your 20s, to say, okay, 50 years from now, where do I see myself? You know what is gonna be my legacy, what's gonna be my story that I look back upon and say, hmm, yeah, that was my story, rather than just being on the hamster wheel and running and running and feeling like all of a sudden, one day the hamster wheel breaks and it's like, huh, what did I do with my life?
Amjed:I don't know if you've ever seen the movie Click with Adam Sandler. It was an interesting movie because it was this whole idea of you know, like this remote control where he could control the world around him. And somehow in the process of using this remote he ends up fast-forwarding himself and sorry for the spoiler, I get such spoiler alert he fast-forwards himself into the future. It doesn't remember any of his life and there's several parts in that movie where it's like the same thing day after day after day after day and I feel like that often I feel like if you look at my week, week to week, 90% of it is exact repeat of the previous week.
Amjed:Yeah, there's some different excitement's, different things do different whatever, but for the most part, if you just average it all together, it feels like my weeks are just repeats of previous weeks. My Mondays all look similar, my Tuesdays all look similar. I work, then I get off, then I do this, then I do that. If you kind of take a month, my Januarys look generally similar, my Februarys look generally similar. So it's like this kind of repetitive cycle where I'm not sure that yeah, I don't know Again, opportunity for reflection and I don't know what to do with it just yet. But I'm glad that I'm taking time to think about it and to reflect on it and to ask these questions because I feel like they're important questions, even though I don't necessarily have the answers to them right now, but they're at least important questions and make it me thinking and moving in a different direction.
Amjed:With that, let's go to the random message of the day and I will reach into my little bucket over here. So again, if you're new to the podcast, I have a bucket full of fortune cookie messages. I take out all the ones that are predictive in nature, like you're gonna be rich or you're gonna find someone you know. Whatever. I take those out and these are more kind of the cool little sayings that are in fortune cookies, like you know the little grasshopper or something. But you know, now I'm thinking back to my kung fu days. All right, I like to mix it up. All right, here we go. This is interesting.
Amjed:Never make the mistake of thinking that you know everything about anything. So I like that. That's you know, for it really resonates for me this whole idea that I can. I acknowledge that I don't. There's nothing that I know everything about. First of all, and it's actually, I feel, like most things I know very little about. And it's interesting that they use the word mistake, mistake, because to me it's like, hmm, I tend to shy away from words like that because they invoke shame for me and I'm like, oh, I'm gonna do it Because they invoke shame for me, but this idea that you know, never make the mistake of thinking that you know everything about anything. Maybe it's a mistake, I don't know. I just see it as an unhealthy behavior or an unhealthy attitude. It's a very arrogant attitude for me and I try to avoid it. So, okay, I'll stop there.
Amjed:Once again, if you are joining, thank you for doing so and, more importantly, I hope that if you that you found some benefit in this year today I had no idea what I was gonna talk about and I just had a, just a thread. I was thinking about that documentary. I didn't know how it would play out. And if you did find some benefit, I hope that you keep coming back and maybe even help spread the word. I have about 10 or 15 people that listen to the podcast now and my dream and my hope is to reach people who really need to hear this. And even if you're like, yeah, I don't know if this is for me, if you know someone that you think it might be helpful to. Please do share it with that. Take care and we'll see you next time.